Our Joey kissed the DHSS woman!
by Torie Rilistkrytcat
Summary: DELETED SCENE FROM MY FIC MARTINA'S LAST STAND. Billy, being the nosy childish person he is, is thrilled to know a little piece of juicy gossip about his family, and wastes no time in blabbing it to any one he sees, whether or not they care.


Disclaimer: I don't own Bread

Dedications: To gypsyrosalie who's been egging me to put this up for over a year, and also to slenderpanda597 who is a great new bread and Joetina fan who was recently made herself known in the bread fandom.

AN: This is a deleted scene from my fic "Martina's last stand," and to get some of the references you need to read that.

* * *

Billy looked around warily, adrenaline accelerating. No one was watching... Surely, no one would see him do it... His spoon silently scooped up a few peas from the bowl before him, and he raised it to his mouth...

"Prayers, Billy!" snapped Nellie.

Billy sighed loudly, dropping his spoon with a clank, sending a few peas sprawling across the tabletop. "I never get any food in before someone says 'Prayers, Billy'! Julie doesn't say prayers, and she always-"

"Oh God, will someone PLEASE shut 'im up?" Adrian complained, eyes traveling to Joey, who usually kept the youngest Boswell's gob in line. Yet he appeared to be deep in thought, ignoring the family chatter, and Adrian let out a dramatized moan.

"Fine!" He cried. "I'll shutthin up, but believe me, my pride is 'angin by a thread, 'angin by a thread..." He reached over, cuffing the back of his brother's ear. "Bill-y!"

Billy glared at Adrain sulkily. "I'm never allowed to say anything in this 'Ouse! Just because our Joey kissed the DHSS woman!"

Adrian slammed his hand down on the table. " Honestly, Billy, you've got no tact!"

Jack's head snapped up. "Our Joey? The DHSS woman? Nah, no one would kiss her..."

He stopped at the look Nellie was giving him.

"I want you to be understanding." She warned them, with an or-else edge to her voice. "This is a very confusing time for our Joey, and he needs our support. I don't know how in the world YOU-" she gave Billy a pointed glare. "Found out, but no one else is to know!"

"Know what?" Aveline cooed curiously, appearing in the doorway. "Sorry I'm late, mam, but I had to buy some new leg wax. Anyway, know what?"

Before anyone could speak, Billy leapt to his feet. "Our Joey kissed the DHSS lady!" He yelled out.

Nellie rolled her eyes. "Honestly, keeping a secret in this 'Ouse is impossible!"

But Aveline's painted lips split into a girlish grin. "Aw, isn't he romantic?" She queried happily, sitting down in her usual chair.

"Romantic? with her?" Jack cut in. "No chance! That woman breathes fire, she does, and somehow is still cold enough to freeze you over with one look. He's probably in shock right now, and that's why he hasn't said anything! She probably pulled him over with her tentacles..."

"Look, let's just forget about it, alright?"

The other siblings turned to Joey, shocked that he'd actually spoken; he'd been silent from the moment he came home.

"Did you really-"Adrian began, but one look from Joey made him think better of it.

"Prayers!" Nellie demanded loudly, clapping her hands.

"Do we have to say prayers?" Billy whined, earning him a sharp look from his mother.

"Fine, then, don't say them!" Nellie sniffed. Billy, who was too stupid to notice when a "but" was coming, grinned like he'd won the lottery...

"But you have to take Grandad's tray out while WE say prayers." Nellie said smugly.

A moment (and one disgruntled tantrum from Billy) later, he was at Grandad's door and the tray was snatched from his hands.

"Did you hear, Grandad?" Billy's gormless grin began to return. "Our Joey kissed the DHSS woman!"

Grandad peered over, before shaking his head. "All hanky panky nowadays!"

* * *

"Julie!" Billy barged rudely into his girlfriend's house. "Our Joey kissed the DHSS lady!"

"I'm not surprised," Julie said calmly, pearling another stitch on the jumper she was knitting for Francesca. "I wondered when they'd get off together- I've seen your Joey down at the DHSS, oozing his charm at the poor woman."

But Billy wasn't listening; he was busy telling his daughter the latest gossip as he leaned over her crib.

"Samantha!"

"Francesca," Julie corrected drily. Billy nodded.

"Oh, right. Francesca! Your uncle Joey kissed the Dhss woman! Yes, he did! They're in love, just like your Mummy and Daddy!"

"I'm not too sure about us being in love," Julie muttered darkly, before looking at Billy. "Look, you're not going to g around telling everyone the same story about your Joey, are you?"

But her words fell on deaf ears; Billy spotted the old woman who lived two doors down from him putting out her milk bottles, and raced out Julie's house to tell her.

"Hey, Mrs Brown!" He yelled at the startled woman. "Did you hear? Our Joey..."

* * *

**There, you have it. Short and pointless but something I've been pestered to post since before Christmas 2011 when Iwrote it. Plus, on gypsyrosalie's request, I also have a sequel and multichap three-quel (I got a little carried away last year) for Martina's last stand that I need to post. Why have I put it off for s long? Well, I procrastinated. :)**


End file.
